{"product_id":"flat-earth-mat-club-crewneck","title":"Flat Earth Mat Club Crewneck","description":"They said the earth curves.\u003cbr\u003e\nYou’ve seen the mat. It doesn’t.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis crewneck is for the believers in lived experience over “satellite data,” for the skeptics who know gravity is just pressure passing with extra steps, and for anyone who’s been stack-passed by a human kettlebell and realized truth bends way easier than the planet.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMembership is limited.\u003cbr\u003e\nThe patch is implied.\u003cbr\u003e\nQuestions are discouraged.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from a soft, heavyweight cotton blend built to withstand conspiracies, cardio, and questionable geometry.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDeny the curve.\u003cbr\u003e\nConfirm the mat.\u003cbr\u003e\nStay grounded.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made just for you—not mass-produced in a warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"CULTSPIRACY","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47277732036846,"sku":"1796705_5434","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47277732069614,"sku":"1796705_5435","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47277732102382,"sku":"1796705_5436","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47277732135150,"sku":"1796705_5437","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47277732167918,"sku":"1796705_5438","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0732\/6528\/3310\/files\/unisex-crew-neck-sweatshirt-black-back-6928d1e57e80e.png?v=1764282879","url":"https:\/\/cultspiracy.com\/products\/flat-earth-mat-club-crewneck","provider":"CULTSPIRACY","version":"1.0","type":"link"}