Cult Committed Tee
Cult Committed Tee
Regular price
$35.00
Regular price
Sale price
$35.00
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Yeah, it’s basically a cult. The difference? Here the beatings are consensual and the only things you’re sacrificing are your cartilage, ego and all your free time. “Death Before Defection” isn’t a motto, it’s the unspoken agreement every time you slap hands and roll.
This tee is your black-robed initiation uniform, disguised as an absurdly soft pre-shrunk tri-blend (50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon) shirt. Wear it and let everyone know you’re not just dabbling — you’re in. All the way in. No half-measures, no graceful exits, no “I’ll come back after I get in shape.” You’re committed. Forever. Or at least until open mat ends.
This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.
This tee is your black-robed initiation uniform, disguised as an absurdly soft pre-shrunk tri-blend (50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon) shirt. Wear it and let everyone know you’re not just dabbling — you’re in. All the way in. No half-measures, no graceful exits, no “I’ll come back after I get in shape.” You’re committed. Forever. Or at least until open mat ends.
This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.
