Flat Earth Mat Club Tee

They told you the world was round.
They lied.

Welcome to the Flat Earth Mat Club—where the only true plane is the one you roll on. Gravity? Optional. Horizons? Suspicious. The curve? Fabricated by blue belts and globalists.

This tee is your unofficial membership card. Whether you're drilling takedowns or redrawing NASA’s floor plans in chalk between rounds, you know the truth: everything else bends, but the mat doesn’t.

Crafted from a soft, lightweight tri-blend (50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon), this shirt is breathable, pre-shrunk, and built to survive both rolls and reckoning. Regular fit. Side-seamed construction. Woven with ultra-fine yarn for that “suspiciously soft for something this unhinged” feel.

Join the club. Deny the curve. Snap the illusion.

This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.