Operation Simulation Tee

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You asked for the truth.
We just leaked the shirt.

Black belts don’t roll—they run the simulation. Every feint, every grip, every fake escape they let you “almost get”? Scripted. You thought you were improvising. You were following code.

This tee is for the ones who see the mat for what it is: a rendered plane of controlled variables, user error, and predetermined taps. If you’ve ever been armbarred before you even knew you were in danger, congrats—you’ve met the administrator.

Crafted from a soft, lightweight tri-blend (50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon), this shirt is breathable, pre-shrunk, and durable enough to survive countless updates, reality glitches, and that one roll you still can’t explain.
Regular fit. Side-seamed construction. Woven with 40 singles of encrypted thread and unexplained force fields.

Red pill. Blue pill. Armbar. Whatever—
It’s all just a simulation anyway.

This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.