Pyramid Scheme Tee

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It started with a free trial class.
Now you own 12 gis, call someone “Professor,” and have strong opinions about shrimping.
Congratulations—you’re in a pyramid scheme.

Featuring the Illuminati triangle and a circle of grappling skeletons who definitely didn’t read the fine print, this tee is a reminder that jiu-jitsu might not be a martial art… it might be a cult with sweat equity.

Perfect for wearing to open mat, secret society meetings, or while explaining to your family why you paid $180 to get choked in a warehouse.

Crafted from a soft, lightweight tri-blend (50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon), this shirt is breathable, pre-shrunk, and durable enough to survive both rolls and recruitment attempts.
Regular fit. Side-seamed construction. Woven with 40 singles of controlled descent and light gaslighting.

No rashguard? No handshake? No entry.

This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.