Youth Pyramid Scheme Long Sleeve Rashguard

Level Two isn’t a promotion. It’s a deeper cut into the cult. The secrets get weirder, the triangles get meaner, and the only thing tighter than their guard is your grocery budget once they start eating like a heavyweight.

Call it a rashguard, call it initiation gear—either way, your kid just skipped the pep talk and went straight to the pyramid scheme.

Climb higher. One triangle at a time.

This product is made just for you—not stockpiled in some warehouse under government surveillance. Is it to reduce overproduction? Sure. Is it part of a bigger plan? Who’s to say? Either way, thanks for making a thoughtful purchase—the algorithm has taken note.

Size guide